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Chapter 1

1) Now it came to pass that the word of Poopy Panda came upon Mishigas as he was in the City of Plains. And He spake saying, " Go ye to the city of Rugala and Bupkes in the country of Nudle Burnswick and return ye not until ye have done preached and screached the Word of Mota and the Lord Roscoe unto the masses there, even unto Wein Gunst Sherm Berger and the employees of the Rutabaga Factory.

2) And so Mishigas went down to that noisy College Town near the Band Aide Factory and the Rare-i-ton Canal by the Wash-ka-happy river. And Mishigas was sprinkled with the Hoogly waters of swimming pools every day and grew to be verily Hoogly and did the Black Stroke and the Flutterbye and the Individual Melody.

3) And Poopy Panda Spake unto Mishigas saying, " Find ye Proselytes, Apostles, Epominandis and Followers for Mota and Elucelom, for without these things no religion can make money to support goods works and the clergy in the style they should be accustomed. Otherwise if ye Proselytes and followers canst support ye then go get a JOB." And mother Eluceloms said, " Take out the papers and the trash or ye shall not get any petty cash."

4) And Mishigas builded himself a beep oscillator that issued Hoogly Beeps and other noises. And there he worshiped and studied the words of the Great Prophets and other wise men and women.

5) Now all was not well in the City of Rugala for there was much Poison Ivy in those parts and all that touched it were stricken with itches.

6) And Mishigas was walking allong the paths by shore of the sewage processing plant and found a fisherman named Mishugina and spake saying, " follow me and Roscoe shall bless you with poopsies and good grades and such.", and he also spied the Angel Levine from the Long Branch Saloon and spake saying, "follow me to do good works of Roscoe and Poopy Panda, Pegunkin."

7) Now there were in those parts many blinkers that wouldst blink all night by the road side and Mishigas wondered what was in these marvels of blinkmanship. So one night he commanded his followers saying, " Let us go and see what wonders are in these blinkers.

8) So that night Mishigas and Mishugina and the Angel Levine went out into the dark night and into the woods to spy on the blinkers. But they did not know that the Poison Ivy was in the woods also.

9) The next day they becan to itch and itch and then Poopy Panda spake saying, " Thou idiot ! Thou hast walked into the woods of Poison Ivy and have become all Itchy. Therefore, I command you, Henceforth. Never go into the woods at night Yea especially without a flashlight. And let this flashlight be a sign forever against Poison Ivy"

10) And the Angel Levine came to Mishigas saying, "For the greater Gloryosky of Mota even unto the Great Hamster which is Roscoe and Poopy Panda who says , "Poop poop poopy", in his lovable growly voice, I have this day found a Drive-In-Movie Speaker even unto the cord which is attached." And Lo when Mishigas looked, there was a Drive-In-Movie Speaker with the cord still attached. And Mishigas took this as a sign from Mota to make a great and mighty Beep Oscillator filled with the gloryosky of Poopy Panda and Zinc Cloride -Manganese dioxide dry cells.

11) And Mishigas did as Poopy Panda Commanded and took the Blinkers and separated out the transistors even the NPNs from the PNPs and got the resistors and the capacitors and the Chetnis switches and created a huge beep oscillator that had the totally random and stochastic output of the acoustic Image of the Lord Roscoe. And the Beep Oscillator did verily beep of Rieble Dibash.

12) And this wise is the miracle of the Pennies of Mishigas. Mishigas did pray to Mota and Lord Roscoe saying, " Peanuts are too expensive for the use of the Pegunkins of YOUR temple." So Poopy Panda spake saying, " Go ye into the Chemistry Lab in which ye have labored many days and get some Nitric Acid and Ye know what to do with it." So Mishigas did as Poopy Panda commanded and used the Nitric Acid which did turn Pennies into dimes which Mishigas used for puchasing many bags of peanuts for the masses of Pegunkins and other believers.

13) And Mishigas began to preach, " Poopy Panda Rains High in the Land and Repent, for the Hour of Roscoe is at hand and Be ye Blipsky and Taken In for the Lord Roscoe is the LORD ROSCOE. And all that believe upon the Lord Roscoe shall in no WISE be cast out, but those that DON'T BLEEVE shall not see the SECON KINDOM up in heaven"

14) And Mishigas made many Rosconian High Flyers and distributed them, even unto Wilhelm the Silent, who stands in the middle of the City and whistles at all the young virgins. And Mishigas preached all that was going to be in the Book of Blipsky and the words of the Prophet Peddidle and all the Rosconian advertisements and had many arguments with the Priests of the Evil Snerd. And all of these flyers are in the Book of Flyers and Hoogly advertisements.

15) And many came to listen to Mishigas and Mishugina and the Angel Levine.

16) And this wise is the Miracle of the Night Raider. There was in those parts a candy machine that had many goodies. And Mishigas prayed to Mota for guidance. An Poopy Panda spake saying, "Take a wire hanger and make a Do-Hickey and with this Do-Hickey ye shall be blessed with candy." And Mishigas did as Poopy Panda commanded and Made a Do-Hickey that would extract goodies from the candy machine. And Lo! the Do-Hicky got stuck and all the candy and goodies came out. Then all of the Masses came forward and were fed even unto Boris the Sleepy, even though it was 2:00 in the morning.

17) And many came to a saving knowledge of Roscoe that night. And then the Night Raider came and put his money into the Candy Machine and Lo, all of the candy was missing. And so the Night Raider split the candy machine into two pieces.

18) And Mishigas took out relays and solenoids for the greater gloryosky of Mota and to make a bigger and better Do-Hickey and Chetnis switch. And the Masses were dumbfounded when they saw what the Night Raider had Wrought.

19) And Mishigas took down the Names of all those that believed upon the Lord Roscoe and placed them in the Hoogly data base of the Booky of Blipsky so all the Heavenly Herd of Hamsters could see. And the Names of the DON'T BLEEVERS were not written into the Booky of Blipsky and those that were not written down were not given the keys to the scriptures and the Hoogly Blessings of Mota.

20) And the Booky of Blipsky grew with all those that were true believers. And many Pegunkins filled their Pishkies with Papishkies and there were blessings of Mota, Elucelom, Poopy Panda, Lord Roscoe and the spirit of ASHLOZMO.

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