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The Gungle according to Saint Jonathan

Chapter 1

1) In the beginning was BubeMeisah, and the BubeMeisah was with Mota and Mota was with BubeMeisah.

2) And his grandmother Nortecele said to Mota, " Hearken unto the Hoogly BubeMeisah.", but Mota would not hearken.

3) But then Mota did hearken unto the BubeMeisah and created the Baloney Zone for the spread the rightious BubeMeisah and then Mota decided to make all things. All this here stuff was made because of BubeMeisah and BLIPSKY and without BubeMeisah was nothing made.

4) In him was giggles, and He Haws, and Tickles, and Geekses and an upwelling of Barf did appear, filled with Higgs Bosons and all mana of par-tickles.

5) And Photons did scater from Phonons and all were in the Brilloin Zone which is under the Balloney Zone, near Great America.

6) There was a man sent by Mota and his mother EL-UCE-LOM, whose name was Jonathan of Lo-Gan.

7 The same was was a witness for the Lord Roscoe and the Great God Mota and for Poopy Panda to proclaim Hooglyness throughout the world, and to witness that teddy Bears were light as was the Lord Roscoe.

8) He was not that light, but weighed close to 50 Kilos, but was sent to witness that teddy Bears were light.

9) That was truely light as was the Lord Roscoe who wasn't too heavy neither. Even The Three Lord Roscoes together were not very heavy.

10) When the Lord Roscoe was in the world many advetisements were made proclaiming the Hooglyness of such an event, unto He Who Holds the Whole World in His Paws.

11) And all the other Hamsters did rejoice and worshiped the Lord Roscoe as an incarnation of Mota and Elucelom.

12) But as many as believed, to then he gave power and Kilowatts and to be true sons and daughters of the Mish Mash Converter.

13) To know the secrets of the Baloney Zone and the Public Mysteries, herein mentioned.

14) And the BLIPSKY was made into Fermions and Bosons, for out of Barf was the whole world made and received Gloryosky unto the words of Poopy Panda.

15) Now Jonathan of Lo-Gan witnessed of Bears and cried saying, "This is The little Teddy Bear of I Spake, who is a Hamster and thus a Living Incarnation of Roscoe."

16) And all his fullness have we received, even unto to contents of his cheek pouches and Gracy Slick.

17) For the law was given by Moozis and Mudka but Gracy and Turtles came by the Lord Roscoe and the Little Lord Joozis.

18) No man hath seen Mota or Elucelom, but we have by good report and reproducable experiments that THEY exist.

19) And this is the testimony of Jonathan of Lo-Gan when the Jeez sent Priests and Lemuels from New Jersey to ask, who are You?

20) And Jonathan of Lo Gan said, " Look for the basket of 100 dollar bills for there wilt ye find the Little Lord Joozis."

21) And they asked him, " Art thou Mishugina". and he answered nay I am not Mishugina, but I bear the message of Mishigas."

22) Then they said , 'Who art Thou." and Jonathan answered saying, " I am not ART, but am a simple advertising executive from California where the Little Lord Joozis IS."

23) " I am the voice of One who hath the Hoogly Black Computer, The shwatzenhiemer, and the GPS of Trimble Navigation, and the spread sheets of Lotus, the Lemuel, and Philipe of Khan, as said Mishigas"

24) "Be not a rightist deviationist nor a leftist deviationist and be straight for I bring ye a Type 1 Font with cubic spline curves"

25) And they ask him, " Why doth thou..... dip"

26) And Jonathan answered saying, " I dip in the pure waters of swimming pools to do the Roscoe has set me Free style and the Black stroke and the Flutterby and the Blest Stroke. For without any pain there is IS NO GAIN."

27) " And the Little Lord Joozis who has retained me with his Hoogly retainer, which is nether lost nor causes pain while holding teeth in place."

28) Now Jonathan of Lo Gan was doing Flutterbye at the swimming pool when he spied the Little Lord Joozis flaoting by,

29) And he said, " Behold, I speaketh unto you saying," Wherefore art the fee ye hath promised"."

30) And The Little Lord Joozis said, "It went for feeding the homeless and for Bupkes and for a Number 9 at TOGOs."

31) " And the homeles man, I Knew Him Not, but asked for Papishkies and I gave, for I am a soft touch. NOW, how about doing some H2O Polo"

32) And all those that were there joined in a game of Water Polo and were sore the next day. And Jonathan of Lo-Gan bear witness, saying, "I saw the Spirit of Water Polo Balls coming at me when I was Goalie."

33) And Joozis fired the Goal and the ball disapeared into the Baloney Zone and the game was ended. An all that were there sain ," Tomorrow shall by Volley Ball, for the water polo ball hath entered the Baloney Zone by the workings of Joozis."

34) And Jonathan said, " I saw and bear witness that this here Joozis must be the Son of a Gungle."

35) And the next day, when Joozis came to play Volley ball he spike the ball and it went into the Baloney Zone, and all the players said '" tomorrow we will again be cast into the Hoogly waters of swimming pools and be carried up into the Baloney zone because of Joozis and his Band."

36) And then the followers of Jonatha Lo Gan said, " We will follow this here Joozis becuase his Roscoe has set me Free Style is fast and they were; Andrew, Peter, Philip, Nathaniel, etc.

Chapter 2

1) Now Joozis was invited to a Bar Mitzvah and there was no wine, so he went to the Price club and got some wine at a good price. And his mother was proud of him for getting the wine at a good price and it didn't taste bad either. And this was the first miracle of Joozis.

2) And then Joozis went to a Renaisance Faire in the woods above San Francisco and he saw the Ticket takers and this......