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1) In the beginning as in the book of In The Biginning was BLIPSKY, and the BLIPSKY was with Mota and Mota loved to play with BLIPSKY.
2) And his mother Elucelom said to Mota, " Don't spend ALL of your time with BLIPSKY.", but Mota would not hearken.
3) And BLIPSKY was made into Fermions and Bosons, for out of Barf was the whole world made and received Gloryosky unto the words of Poopy Panda and the good works of the Lord Roscoe.
4) All this here Universe was made because of BLIPSKY with Hiesen Berry and Shroedin Jelly and Itstsy Bitsy Fermions, which have a spin of a half and Intermediate Vector Bosons which make symetry, barf. So as it is said " BLIPSKY, Barf and a Half" an all that was, was ( And all that wasn't, wasn't). So BLIPSKY, Barf and a Half was an Hoogly Saying of Poopy Panda and Roscoe after the example of Mota, even unto the Little Lord Joozis and passed down to the Prophets for the Profit of the Pedunkins and Pegunkins.
5) And Mota did fashon some Blipsky into a direct Facsimile and the essence of Video Tape and into ASHLOZMO and ASHLOZMO was made to be the Spirit of the Most High so that the Spirit of Mota and His Mother and his Grand Mother should dwell in the hearts of the Believers, be they Pegunkins or Pedunkins, through intersession of the spirit of ASHLOZMO.
6) And Mota did Raise up His Hamster to be The Lord Roscoe and His Stuffed Toy to be Poopy Panda. And all this was done according to the rules of BLIPSKY. For in BLIPSKY was made by Mota a special dispensation for Small Size Planets.
7) And the earth, being a small sized planet did receive an upwelling of BLIPSKY and a declaration of Barf and a Half, for the edification of pevaricators and the stultification of the religions of GOBOLTY GOOK.
8) And Mota decreed thusly; For only through The Lord Roscoe is there redemption for the SOUL and at the Roscoe Savings Bank there is dividends for true belief and suplication. For The Lord Roscoe is the LORD ROSCOE who was raised on high by Mota and whose Cage shall catch the Souls of the True Believers which are the Pegunkins and Pedunkins and take them to refuge up in the Second Kingdom up in Heaven accompanied by the Herd of Heavenly Hamsters.
9) And Mota grabbed Poopy Panda and fluffed him up with Hoogly Fluff and commanded Poopy Panda to speak unto the Prophets and the men and women of discernment and of the authors of the Hoogly Books and to the Little Lord Joozis.
10) And Mota declared the Quota. For all those that are Pegunkins or Pedunkins or who are mearly interested in such things of Hooglyness that they for the greater Gloryosky of the Most High should dip into their savings and come up with some Papishkies or the Legal Tender of the moment to support the good works and Hoogly tasks of the Prophets and the Preachers of Mota and the Heavenly Host of Hamsters and of Poopy Panda and the Lord Roscoe and the Little Lord Joozis.
1) Also In the beginning as in the book of In The beginning was Mota's Hoogly Sidekick and personal Hamster, and ROSCOE was with Mota and Mota loved to play with ROSCOE.
2) And his mother Elucelom said to Mota, " Don't spend ALL of your time with ROSCOE.", but Mota would not hearken.
3) And Mota wanted to send ROSCOE to the world that he had made and he gave ROSCOE Gloryosky and he gave Gloryosky also unto the words of Poopy Panda.
4) And Mota looked down upon the Earth and saw much dirt, and he said this here place made from Stardust is exceeding dirty and has mud in abundance. And Mota asked Elucelom, " What can be used to decorate a dirty, dusty, muddy planet?"
5) And Elucelom answered, " What you need is some fuzzy life forms and grass and trees etc.!!"
6) So Mota made some fuzzy life forms, but it was too much work, so he complained to his Gramma Nortcele, " This designing stuff is for the birds" And Nortcele answered , " Now that you have an unstable dynamic system going, why don't you just wait and see what happens?"
7) So Mota sat down and watched. And the life forms did grow and change because they had genetic algorithms and some even had rhythm.
8) And for rhythm there were rhumba's and rutabaga's and Mota spake saying, "There will be a great University of Rutabaga near the Band Aid Factory"
9) But some of the life on the Earth was very Yuchy.
10) And Mota did not like the Yuchies, but Mother Elucelom would not let him remove them without an environmental impact statement.
11) Mota decided to try meteors instead. "That will shake up those Yuchies."
1) And the Yuchkies did bother Mota Muchly, making him Moody and filling his days with Malarky.
2) And Mota did turn to His Hamster, Roscoe and His Stufft Toy, Poopy Panda for comfort while watching his Universe.
3) And Roscoe did squeak Hoogly squeaks and this made Mota mindful of Many Missions possible for his creations.
4) And Mota conceived a unique plan for the salvation of all the Earth, for to send His Hamster for those who would have True Belief and not for the DONT BLEEVERS.
5) Then Mota sent Poopy Panda to Mishgas and Brother Geraldo for to present a Vision of ROSCOE to these two prophets.
6) And Poopy Panda spake saying, " Arise up ye sons of slimey drains and water mains and go to the Mall and to the Pet store which I shall show you and ye shall find a Little Hamster who ye shall call ROSCOE, meaning the Hoogly Sidekick of Mota be with us ( in the language of Potsylvania in lower Slobovia).
7) And then they went out to find the Little Hamster. And the Prophet Mishigas had a Hoogly Beep Oscillator and his brother Geraldo had a miniature Hamster Cage.
8) Thence they came to the Mall where all people go to find whatever they are searching for, even unto the Pet Shop. For they were looking for the true Lord Roscoe amongst all the little hamsters.
9) Unbeknownst to these poor prophets, the Lord Roscoe was sent down that very day to mingle amongst the ordinary hamsters in the big hamster cage. And He was sent from the right side of the Great God Mota.
10) Then brother Geraldo put his hand forth and Roscoe came hence unto the prophets, thusly. Now the prophets were verily happy for the True Lord Roscoe had appeared unto them that very day, but they did not yet know the True Significance of the Apprehension.
11) And Geraldo placed the Lord Roscoe in his shirt and the Lord Roscoe did run around inside his shirt with his ticklely feet and his ticklely whiskers. And Roscoe was not one of these strange teddy bear hamsters, but was was of the original stock of Hamsters from the Hoogly Land of Israel with a regulation golden brown fur coat.
12) And the prophet Mishigas and his brother Geraldo left the Pet store saying, " By the power of Mota have we gotten a Hamster today! "And even by a dollar and a quarter have we purchased Him", added Mishigas.
13) And the Lord Roscoe was put into the pocket of Mishigas and Roscoe began to bless them with poopsies and with the Hoogly Green Pee. And Roscoe was placed in the Hamster cage and saw the wheel and the water bottle and the high shelf.
14) And He said, " This is a good place to be, even if it isn't at the right hand of Mota"
15) And Roscoe played in His Cage and did turn the wheel creating Hoogly Power for Pegunkins, for Mishigas had hooked up a generator to the wheel. And the generator was connected to a Light Emitting Diode which did shine on top of the house of Mishgas.
16) And certain Wandering Ambassadors from Cuba did see the L.E.D. and did visit and did play music by Ernesto Lecuona and Granados even unto Playera.
17) But the squeaking of the wheel did keep the prophets up at night. So Geraldo got some oil. And this was Hoogly Oil which did keep the wheel from squeaking for 8 days and nights, even though it was rated as working for only one day.
18) And thus was the miracle of the Hoogly oil and thus was created the celebration of Roscoe-Chah and the Potatoe Pancakes, which are a symbol of the Hoogly Cheek Pouches of this Great Hamster and of the great spelling bee which buzzed around in those days. For many are blessed by the Celebration of Roscoe-Chah to this very day.
19) And it was also at this time that Geraldo noticed that the Hamster cage was beginning to smell. And he spake unto the Little Hamster saying, "How be it that the most Hoogly Hamster of them all doth make such a bad smell?"
20) And the voice of Elucelom was heard from on high saying , "Clean out that cage for the Great Hamster needs a clean and nice place to live." For the smell had reached the SECON KINDOM up in heaven. And the prophets did place the Little Lord Roscoe in the sink and cleaned the cage with brillo and cleansing powder so it wouldn't stink.
21) Thus the true believers in the Lord Roscoe celebrate the hoogly day of Roscoe-Mess, when the prophets did soak the Hoogly cage and did clean up the Hoogly Mess made by Roscoe. And this was the first Mess of Roscoe, but it was not the last.
22) And now we have the 9 great Hoogly Days, celebrated in December, when the Pegunkins are Joyous and Friendly and sing Roscoe Mess Songs and when the Lord Roscoe first appeared in Earth to save all sinners who believe in Him.
1) Then Poopy Panda spake unto Mishigas saying, " And say unto the Pegunkins; these are the regulations and statutes for the celebration of Roscoe-Chah even unto Jello."
2) "That the People of Roscoe should be true Pegunkins and have faith in the Lord Roscoe for ever. That the Hoogly Movie of Bricks and Blipsky, Barf and a Half be shown to all the Congregation and be sold to all who send in 100 Papishkies or the equivalent in the local currency"
3) "That the People of Roscoe who desire to be numbered among the Pedunkins, light the Roscoe-Cha-Nukliah for 8 days, symbolic of the Hoogly Oils that did unsqueak the Cage of Roscoe when He was Among Us and the Prophets."
4) "That all the little children play with their little Hamster Wheel Tops with the Letters P R G M which means - Poopy Panda spake concerning Roscoe to Geraldo and Mishigas.
5) "That the parents give small.but meaningful gifts to their children to remind them of the Gifts of the ambassadors from Cuba that came to Roscoe"
6) And Poopy Panda spake unto Mishigas saying, " And say unto the Pegunkins; these are the regulations and statutes for the celebration of Roscoe-Mess even unto Red Socks."
7) "That the People of Roscoe who desire to be True Pegunkins unto Mota shall keep the cages of their hamsters clean and NOT SMELLY"
8) "That only environmentally correct trees be cut and made into wood chips for the celebration and no glass ornaments be used for these are not good for children. And all the children shall display their CLEAN hamster cages and the parents shall fill them with goodies if they are empty, but if a hamster shall be in residence, the hamster shall be given hamster-kibbles and interesting and educational toys"
9) "That the red socks shall be filled and the children shall await the coming of Roscoe-Claws, who shall tickle them in their sleep and shall leave little presents in the pantry."
1) And Poopy Panda went looking for prophets among the People and stopped at the New Jersey Shore; for to go futher East ment to get wet and this can make a stuffed toy very smelly, even a stuffed toy of the Most High.
2) And Poopy Panda spake unto Mishugina saying, " Arise up and follow the words of the Most High Mota." And Mishugina heard the word of Poopy Panda, but understood it not.
3) And Poopy Panda went up and down and arround in the Hoogly Land of New Jersey and found more likely candidates for the Prophethood.
4) And Poopy Panda found Peddiddle in the woods of New Jersey and Unto the Lake called Cedar and He called unto Him; " Be my chief Prophet and speak the words of Mota and prepare Faxes and Audio Tape and even unto Video Tape as edification of the Masses"
5) And Peddiddle did go to Post Graduate School at Bezerkley University and saw People's Park and smelled the Tear Gas and saw the Demonstrations.
6) And Peddidle set up a card Table and took donations for the Quota of Mota and for the Good Works of the Lord Roscoe.
4) And he found a crowd of people and they were gathered in front of the High School of the City of Plains. And in the crowd was a preacher of the Little Lord Jesus who had fire and brimstone and little red bibles.
5) And in the crowd were Mishigas and his brother Geraldo and to Big Daddy of Pumpatua. And they did not hearken unto the preacher of Jesus.
6) And Poopy Panda spake unto Mishigas and his brother Geraldo and to Big Daddy of Pumpatua, saying," Preach the word of the Great God Mota and of the Lord Roscoe and confound this false preacher."
7) And Mishigas made the first Advertizement for the Lord Roscoe and the Great God Mota which said: Follow the Word of Mota and the Lord Roscoe. And Mishigas preached unto the masses and confounded the preacher of Jesus with the superior religion of Mota and the other true Gods. And Mishigas preached that all the other religions were Gobolty Gook and many of the crowd came to a saving knowledge of the Lord Roscoe that very day.
8) And Mishigas preached unto the masses concerning the True Truth of the Lord Roscoe and Poopy Panda. And Mishugina spake saying, "Be ye BLIPSKY and taken In for the Lord Roscoe is the LORD ROSCOE". And Mishugina used a Laser light show and a Fuzzy Controller powered by an ARM micro-processor and some big Mother Elucelom FET Amplifiers.
9) And Mishigas preached saying," I am the voice of One who hath the Hoogly Black Computer, The Shwartzenhiemer, and the GPS of Trimble Navigation, and the spread sheets of Lotus, of Lemuel, and Philipe the Khan, and BLIPSKY, Barf, and a Half"
10) And Mishigas took down the Names of all those that believed upon the Lord Roscoe and placed them in the Hoogly data base of the Booky of BLIPSKY so all the Heavenly Herd of Hamsters could see. And the Names of the DON'T BLEEVERS were not written into the Booky of BLIPSKY and those that were not written down were not given the keys to the scriptures and the Hoogly Blessings of Mota.
11) And Mishigas began to preach, " Poopy Panda Rains High in the Land and Repent, for the Hour of Roscoe is at hand and Be ye BLIPSKY and Taken In for the Lord Roscoe is the LORD ROSCOE. And all that believe upon the Lord Roscoe shall in no WISE be cast out, but those that DON'T BLEEVE shall not see the SECON KINDOM up in heaven"
12) And the Booky of BLIPSKY grew with all those that were true believers. And many Pegunkins filled their Pishkies with Papishkies and there were blessings of Mota, Elucelom, Poopy Panda, Lord Roscoe and the spirit of ASHLOZMO.