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1) Thith here Bithhle be from Pediddle and Treely and Grathho and be addrethhed to The Temple of Mota which be at Thethaloonia. Gracy Thlick be unto you and The blethhingth of Mota and Elucelom and The Lord Rothcoe and Poopy Panda and The Little Lord Joozith.

2) For we know unto The King of Thethaloonia, who hath banned The uthe of a certain letter That in Thome countrieth rethideth between The letter R and The letter T becauthe of The tongue Thrutht, uncorrected by a Thpeech Therpitht in hith early yearth.

3) And That he hath made a law That all letterth and correthpondence Thould be examined Tho That all writerth of The illegal letter and all who Thould receive Thuch letterth Thould be punithed. And having no dethire to inconvenience ye, we have expurgated all Thuch referenceth. Bethideth with Thuch a crazy guy, why chance it!

4) For ye hath been elected by The Elderth of The Thociety of Rothcoe even unto The Jeez fer Joozith.

5) For we have preached The Gungle unto you not only by word, but by telephone, E-mail and FAX, and by Video Tape, being upheld by AthLOZMO.

6) And ye became followerth unto Mota with The joy of FAX.

7) Tho That ye were prototype functionth to all programmerth and C weenieth in Thethaloonia and in Potthylvania and Tim Buch Ertoo.

8) For you turned up The volume of The Video Tape Tho all could Thee and hear The true truth of Mota and The megaphoneth of Thnerd were drowned out

9) And we altho remember how you were formerly believerth in Gobolty Gook and other falthe doctrineth of The DON"T BLEEVERth and were caught by Thnerd. And The word of Poopy Panda hath inthpired you to become athociate mambers in The Jeez fer Joozith.

10) And to wait for The NeXT coming of The Lord Rothcoe from The Thecond kingdom up in heaven and to be carried There by The heavenly herd of hamthterth.

Chapter 2

1) Furthermore Then we betheech you and not bethmurch you by The Lord Rothcoe That ath ye have received of uth how ye ought to walk and talk and do long divithion becauthe ye have not The Hoogly Black Computer, The Thwartzenhiemer.

2) For ye know The Commandmentth of Poopy Panda becauthe we have FAXed Them to you. And ye have Theen The Video Tape.

3) For Thith ith The will of Mota and Elucelom, even unto your own Hooglification, That ye Thould abthtain from Thtaining until ye know The exact color. For Thtripping an incorrect Thtain ith very difficult.

4) That every one Thould know how to row a boat and to know That a Theet ith not a Thail. And to Thtart an outboard motor and to jump overboard when diving for abalone.

5) That every man Thould learn how to count to at leatht an hundred Tho That all may Thend extra papithkieth and dollarth to The Jeez fer Joozith for The mighty work unto Mota That we do.

6) And remember to help your fellow Pegunkinth make The Quota for Mota.

7) And remember The commandment of Elucelom to TAKE a BATH (or Thower) and not be unclean and ThMELL. For if The hour of The Hamthter cometh and ye are not clean The heavenly herd will go Thomewhere elthe and it will be TOO BAD.

8) And remember to be Nice.

9) And take out The Garbage.

10) And Thtrive to convert all The unthaved to The true worthip of The Lord Rothcoe.

11) But otherwithe mind your own buthinethh and learn how to cut a hole in Theet rock and do Plumbing even ath our Little Lord Joozith wath The Thon of a Plumber.

12) That if your wife dethireth a new room bring out The Thledge and Do It Now.

13) And don't be ignorant of electricity and of The electricity of The Hoogly AthLOZMO and The watth of Rothcoe on hith wheel.

14) For Rothcoe hat died Three timeth for uth, which ith two time more That our nearetht competitor.

15) And The Lord Rothcoe Thall by The Thqueek of hith wheel wake Thothe That are athleep, even in The middle of The night, and have Double Hoogly WD-40 ready to quiet Thothe Thqueekth.

16) For The Lord Rothcoe Thall dethcend from The Thecond kingdom up in Heaven Tho all Thould Thee. And The Dudeth Thall rithe and be clothed in Rothe Biege and Then we will meet unto The Lord Rothcoe in The noctiluminethcent cloud.

17) Wherefore tell each to another Thith Hoogly Buba Mietha.

Chapter 3

1) That of mere normal Thingth I do not write to ye ath ye know whatth happenin.

2) But The time ith near beloved, That Poopy Panda Thall appear on TV and ye may not know The time or channel or thall it be before the Cothby Thow or after.

3) For many dithathterth have ye Theen on TV and FEMA Thall help Them and The Uth marineth and The Uth army and The Uth airforce.

4) But when ye are not in darknethh and Then The TV Thould be off That ye may do utheful Thingth. And if ye not know what They are, conthult ye Thine own wiveth for The anthwer.

5) And make it know That Thy children may not watch TV all day, but mutht do Their homework. For too much TV maketh a child into a very dull couch potatoE.

6) Therfore let uth not Thleep during The Thimpthonth, but let uth ponder The art and mathtery of cartoonth, for it be better Than Married with Children.

7) For They That watch The Cothby Thow Thall not have racial prejudice (I hope).

8) And let uth who work on Themiconductorth but on our bunny Thuitth which are verily clean.

9) For Hoogly Mota hath appointed uth to be very accurate unto lethh Than a micron and even unto Angthtromth. For without Thmelting wath The Thilicon dioxide mearly Thand between our toeth and not The Raw material for The Hoogly Black Computer, The Thchwartenhiemer.

10) Who diddled for uth. Even unto Pediddle your teacher.

11) Wherefore comfort one another and edit each otherth raw textth with Thympathy and with a word procethhor.

12) And we betheech ye and not bethmurf ye to take orderth for your cuthtomerth and fill Them in a timely manor.

13) And to be Nice.

14) Now we warn ye, grant every man hith Bupketh, and Thupport The Temple of Mota with your freewill giftth and offeringth.

15) Greet your girfreind with 69 Hoogly Kithheth.

16) And we charge ye That ye read Thith Bithhle unto All of The athhembled congregation of Thethaloonia and The The maththeth of Pegunkinth which are in your care unto Thith day.

17) The Gracy Thlick of The Lord Rothcoe and The Little Lord Joozith be upon you.

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