To Home Page
To Stories of Rosconian Priestesses
To the Story of the Previous Priestess To the Story of the Next Priestess
By Melba Toasty
Melba Serving the Borscht
Well, first & foremost, my faith in God & relationship with the Lord is the most important thing to me.
My Duties are a Priestess of the Lord Roscoe keep me centered on the True Truth of the True Tooth
It is through His awesome love & snoogles that I have become the woman that I am today. My faith is perfectly compatible with sexual relations,
Making the Borscht Celebration in Zanbia
I come from Yombalulaville in Pumpatua, district of the African country Zanbia. Ages ago some of the Shmooish people fleeing the Rombanians settled in Pumpatua and intermarried with the local population. The people that sprung out of this union spoke a mixed dialect of Shmooish and Bantu, called Shmantu. The Tribe I belong to is called the Fugawe, because when the Shmoos came they didn't know where they were. Some of the customs we inherited from the Shmoos included the making of the Borscht celebration. The original religion of the local population was called animalism which had totems, We have the Hamster Totem,
To make things even more complicated years ago a missionary called Charles Toasty came to our area to convert the people to Christianity, However he fell in love with my Gramma Ooliaooma and they got married and that is how I got my last name. Gramma Ooliaoomba is famous for her Boiled Snake meat sauce, putting Pumpatua on the Map of world cuisine. I consider myself of Shmooish African English descent. What a mix
Melba at UC Berkeley
Gramma Ooliaooma aske my dad , Roger Toasty, to go to California to sell her new sauce . This was after an unfortunate incident with Mr. Baloomba Oomba, so she felt the ned to diversify. My dad settle in Milptas and I eroled in the University of California at Berkely as a foreign student, not being able to afford Berkely I got an apprtment in Oakland. I made many friends including Hattie Tookus, a long time resident of Oakland.
A a party I met prophet Geraldo, who used to tool around the area on his Motorcycle proselytising for the Rosconian Faith system a unique blend of Shmooish belief Animism and downright silliness. I marveled on how it was so similar to my own Fugawe Tribal Beliefs and religion. I decided then it must be the True Truth.
His sincere zeal and silly demeanor impressed me and I immediately offered to sleep with him, to which he agreed. He Also admonished me to do is Study the Hoogly Flyers and read the Hoogly Ishkibbbible and attend a High Hoogly Mess and become a Hoolgy Chaste [ with some exceptions] Priestess of the Lord Roscoe !
It was as if he had opened the secrets of the universe within my soul. Moishe told me me that the Lord Roscoe, the Personal Savior god was brought to us by the Great God Mota, who made the Universe with his Big Bang Machine. I felt an irresistible pull to explore the path he spoke of the path of the Lord Roscoe, the Hamster of the great God Mota.
So After getting my BS in Nursing I enrolled at Roscoe Theogogical College of Hamsters and Pegunkinism . I graduated with High honors and took an internship with Half Pastor Chaim Pippick at Saint Schmegagle's cathedral.
Melba is now serving the Little Lord Joozis and Roscoe as a Hoogly Priestess who is Chaste [ most of the time ] , She is Liquidating Sins through the Boiling Borscht Ceremoney held after services.