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The Fables of the Old Man and his Hamster

The Fourth bunch of Fables.

XI. The Fable of the GREEN BARF

In the land of the Purple Ishkabibbles there was an old man and his hamster. They were both exceeding rightious in the sight if MOTA. And the ANGLES of MOTA blessed the old man and his hamster. HOWEVER all was not well in the land of the Ishkabibbles who were at that time Purple.

The BARF did flow down from the POLKADOT mountain and did stain all that it ouched a light shade of green. So the olded man and his hamster prayed exceedingly well that day and made 80 sacrifices. And MOTA looked down from his abode on the Mud Vanks of the Wash Ka Happy River and did se that all was not well in the land of the Ishkabibbles who were at that time Purple. And MOTA did went down amoungst the flowing green BARF and dranked it up, all in one deep draught. AND IT WAS DONE! And everybody was exceedingly happy in the land of the Purple Ishkabibbles.


XII. The Fable of the the three Imobs and how they were Yuchy.

In the land right above the Lower Slobovian Slobobs (i.e. The middle Slobovian Slobereetuses) There were many Imobs who were in most part very Yuchy. (No Old Man nor his Hamster here!) Now - There were these Three Imobs and a Cat. The Cat was was a Babyloonian Imob Eater so the three Imobs ran very fast until they came to an Ugly people Eating Spider in an Old Shack (Formally belonging to Dinah) surrounded by other Ugly people Eating Spiders and Coupes. The three Imobs then ran out of that shack and discovered that the people Eating Cat was still after them. The three Imobs ram out of the shack only to discover that the people eating cat was still after them. So the three Imobs ran very fast until they came to deep dark cave. They went into the cave only to discover that there was a very large people eating bear inside that there cave. Then they quickly ran out to discover all those big, fat, and ugly people eating creature were still after them. So the three Imobs ran very fast until they came to a large tree. They quickly climbed the tree, but to their horror, it was infested with large flesh eating ants and a few flesh eating gunkles. So they jumped out of the tree to discover . It was then that they discovered the people eating cat, the people eating spiders, and the people eating bear were still after them.

So now they decided to prey to the Great God Mota, and as they opened their mouths to prey, the BAD breath came out and suffocated all their myriads of pursuers and all the assorted people eating animals fell down dead.. And so, they witnessed to power of positive reeking.

Moral- Sometimes it doesn't matter to whom you prey, just what issues forth.

XIII. The Fable of the Grizzily Blinzes and the Green Glop.

In the land of Retread Tyres and Free Flowing Blue Green Algae there lived an Old Man and His Hamster. They were very uprightious (and that was a time of rampant down-rightiousness). At that time there many Blipskies that were about to Barf and a Half. The Old Man and his Hamster went, one day, to the market where the whole populace did congregate together to trade their Grizily Blinzes and their Green Glop. There, the Old Man was going to sell his Apple II that he had grown in his Garden, with much love and labor intensive effort. As soon as they had gotten into the center of the market place, the Hamster spied a puddle of Gunk on the ground. As everybody knows, who is in the Gunk Business, Gunk is a most important part of our economic system, being transported around the world, and sold to friends and enemies alike. Gunk, as everybody knows, is a mixture of H. V. O. T. and Gleeem Tooth Paste, aluminum Hydroxide, Benzalconium chloride, high density polyvinyl alcohol, sodium nitrate, pickle juice, vegetative byproducts, and chicle root. So Quickly! Before the other people in the market had time to see the Gunk, the Old Man and His Hamster scooped it up in a plain polycarbonate silicon wafer holder. After they got home they pour the Gunk out into a large vat on the kitchen table and childrenated it flour and confectioners sugar(this was before the time of adulteration). Then they baked it into Gunkels of Dubious Dubow in shape and in the likenes of Richard (The Sincere), and of the likenes of other Notables. Then they set up a Gunkel Stand by the way and sold the Gunkels to passers-by Now after they had sold all of the precious Gunkels, they totals all of their prophets and made the astonishing discovery that they had actually lost money of the amount of 3 papishkies of the Relm. Then they both committed honorable chop-suey side, except for the Hamster who found a New Old Man!

Moral - You can't make a mint out of selling Gunk!

XIV. The Fable of the small Golly-Gee and its results.

(A fable of the absurd priestist of Kladerwickioups)

In the land of the small Swiss Cheese and 64 square Cheese Boards there lived and Old Man and his cute Little Hamster. They were a very happy couple and lived camped out on the edge of a deep dark precipiece on the west face of Mulligan Mountain. They had lived in the place all their lives and were fatalistically resigned to the fact that someday they would fall off the deep dark precipiece. The knowledge made them very religious and they were firm believers in the true truth of the Book of Mota and in the ongoing faith in the various attributes and side kicks of that great deity, including Poopy Panda and Roscoe. They had made the required 37 Sacraliliacs a Day and wore the required 37 Purple Ropes about their necks. One dark dreary night when Mulligan Mountain was covered in FOG, thick enough to cut with a machete, the deep dark precipiece started to fall off the mountain. It fell for about three hours, until it touched bottom on the mudbanks of the Wash Ka Happy River. The there was a concussion that scared the wits out of this here Mota Chap and he Fled to the Mudbanks of the Mississippi River in California. At this, the Hamster said, "Golly -Gee"! The results of this Golly Gee were heard in the whole land in the form of the passing of wind and a peculiar Flattus Sound.

Moral - It is a small Golly Gee which sounds big in deaf ears.

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