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The Fables of the Old Man and his Hamster

The Second bunch of Fables

V. A Fable of Gamal and the Dark Braf

( A Fable of OKSAR DROL)

In the land of Crushed Ice Scream and Iced Tee lived an Old Man and His Hamster who were very righteous. The Old Man did worship the Great God Mota 37 times a day and wore the required 37 Purple Ropes, but the Hamster was even more righteous--In fact this here Hamster was an Incarnation of the Great Lord Roscoe. Bye the Bye, Worship of the Lord Roscoe did form around this Incantation and there was much Consternation in the land. Many people looked down their noses and other flocked to Wednesday Morning Mess at 1 O'clock at the shrine of Willie the Silent. Many came forward to be blessed by Roscoe and a great movement of Earthworms began at the grass roots. One day a mean Ogre, who was out looking for the Billy Goats Gruff, came upon an all night prayer vigil for Lord Roscoe. This Ogre, whose name was Gamal, did raise such a fuss that the shamus did upturn an urn of Dark Braf upon his ugly head....

Moral - Don't Mess with things which you know nothing about!

VI. The Fable of the Gnarled Glunch

( A fable of Klapderwickioups )

In the land of Oiled V-Blocks and squeaky Gruntches, lived an Old Man and His Hamster. Now it was the custom in those days for all to work in the sweat shops of Urn. The Old Man works in the Boiled Pipe Stem Factory making Boiled Pipe Stems cases for use on Geothermal Co-Generation Farms, whilst the Hamster didst work in the Pubbi Kibble Factory, tasting Pubbi Kibbles. One day a Pubbi Kibble was found to contain a Gnarled Glunch. This, the Hamster did secret away in His Cheek Pouch and did bring home. Then the Old Man and His Hamster did sit down and Pray mightily over this Gnarled Glunch unto the dawn when an Apparition of great realism, like unto an Hologram did appear saying, "Be Ye Coherent in speaking and develop Gnarled Glunches for the Masses." Whereupon the Old Man and His Hamster did go into the Gnarled Glunch business and set up a factory making Pre-Gnarled Glunches and they live happily ever after.

Moral - If people want Grunches, make them.

VII. The fable of Gratch

( A fable of unknown origin)

Unce upon a Midnight Dreary lived an Old man and His Hamster. And Poopy Panda, the stuffed Toy of Mota who has spoken to the Prophets and Men of Discernment and the Women who tell the men of Discernment what to do. And Roscoe is sore against Blech and Yechyness and is seeped in Yelm. This has been priorly known as the Yin and the Yan can Cook. Our relationship with Poopy Panda should be one of Upmost amusement. Not as a Dog looks at a man, but even worse.

Moral - What did you expect, a Fable?

VIII. The Fable of the Purple Peddiddle Hoffer

( A Fable of Roscoe)

In the land of Green Glop and Purple Gonkoes lived an Old Man and His Hamster. They were exceeding righteous and they did worship the Great God Mota 37 times a day and wore the required 37 Purple Ropes. One day as the Old Man and His Hamster were worshipping the Great God Mota, a stranger came up the road where they lived and said to them, "Why art thou prostrate on the road, yelling many incantations?" And the Old Man answered saying, "Yea, but we are worshipping the Great God Mota and His mother Elucelom and his Grandmother Nortcele and His stuffed Toy Poopy Panda and the Happy Hamster Lord Roscoe in his three Incarnations, first, second, and third, with great Gusto, which is done so that we may find favor in the sight of Mota and receive the Blessing of Roscoe through the intercession of ASHLOZMO under a hoogly writ of Poopy Panda, be him Blipsky." The stranger was so impressed with the True Faith of the Old Man and His Hamster that he too knelt down prostate and prayed to the Great God Mota.

Moral - Some people will swallow anything.

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