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By Bella Balabustala
Bella Serving the Borscht
Well, first & foremost, my faith in God & relationship with the Lord is the most important thing to me.
My Duties are a Priestess of the Lord Roscoe keep me centered on the True Truth of the True Tooth
It is through His awesome love & snoogles that I have become the woman that I am today. My faith is perfectly compatible with sexual relations,
Wandering the Cobblestone Streets
I spent my early years in the charming country of Slobovnia the original country of the Shmoos near the Holy but rundown village of Vaystickvus. It was a poor country always threatened by the Putzi Mafia . When I was 12 years old, her parents told Me they had won a lottery to emmigrate to the United States. I was overjoyed and excited. I packed my bags and said goodbye to my friends and relatives. But that was not to be, Because of some colons and apostrophes in our application, we were turned away and had to return to our ramshackle home .
In the bustling streets of Vaystickvus , I marveled out people could stand it without wifi and TV, but creativity flourished.
The Cathaholic Cathedral , Sagrada Borschtabila
The cathedral was in front of the town square, everybody of importance came there to converse, to spread gossip. Who was leaving the country, who was staying, and why that was so sad.
I piped up and said,"Why don't we make the Little Shtetl of Vaystickvus a center of tourism. Think of all the people who left and now have fond memories of the place, not remembering the filth , horse manure and grime?" The people in the crowd were overjoyed to hear that message? I thought perhaps I can become a leader in the rejuvenation and gentrification of Vaystickvus?
Nearby in the town of Medigungle was also the shrine of Our Lady of Grunge , Gracy Slick. There was a constant stream of pilgrims hoping for a miracle in their lives . They needed to find somebody to love.
Young Moishe Hablivilah
Amongst the gathering crowd, a young tall dark and handsome young man named Moishe Hablivilah stood before me. His eyes sparkled with wisdom and merth, and he was holding The Hoogly Ishkibbibble with the Lord Roscoe on it as well as a backpack filled with Hoogly Flyers and other Rosconian Religious artifacts. Moishe was descened from Shmooish people who have left the Little Shtetl of Vaystickvus , And was returning to recapture his heritage and spread the word of Poopy Panda.
"Who is Poopy Panda" I thought . Moishe replied, " He is Toy of the Great God Mota, who made the Universe with his big bang machine!" He added, "and don't forget the Lord Roscoe is our personal Savior type God ! " I heard this and was instantly amused.
Moishe detected my emotional duress at not being allowed to emmigrate to the US and immediately told me not to worry. If I could Believe upon the Lord Roscoe as my Personal Savior God then I would in no Wise be Cast out !
His sincere zeal and silly demeanor impressed me and I immediately offered to sleep with him. But he said no, I am sealed to Prissy Hussy as my Intended. What you need to do is Study the Hoogly Flyers and read the Hoogly Ishkibbbible and attend a High Hoogly Mess and become a Hooly Chaste [ with some exceptions] Priestess of the Lord Roscoe !
It was as if he had opened the secrets of the universe within my soul. Moishe told me me that the Lord Roscoe, the Personal Savior god was brought to us by the Great God Mota, who made the Universe whith his Big Bang Machine. I felt an irresistible pull to explore the path he spoke of the path of the Lord Roscoe, the Hamster of the great God Mota.
So after a while I did receive a US visa to attend Roscoe Theogogical College of Hamsters and Pegunkinism . I graduated with High honors and returned to Vaystickvus to re-establish the Hoogly Borscht works and spread the Righteous Baubemeisah to the people of Vaystickvus.
Balabustala is now serving the Little Lord Joozis and Roscoe as a Hoogly Priestess who is Chaste [ most of the time ] , She is Liquidating Sins through the Boiling Borscht Ceremoney held after services.