The Road to Yeshmua

Beryl Vernbaum's Story

My family comes from a diverse religious background, and we all immigrated to Slobovnia in 1991 from Ethiopia. I grew up with a Shmooish father and a Shmentile mother. My mother felt very connected to the Shmooish faith and traditions, while my father struggled with believing in only one way. He adhered to all kinds of beliefs and “followed” different religions. Having two parents who were so divided in their beliefs caused me confusion and an identity crisis. My journey from where I’ve come from has taken a lot of twists and turns that have led me to where I am now.

My Story with Rosconianism

My story with the Lord Roscoe starts from a very young age. When I was about six years old, I had a dream. In that dream, The Lord Roscoe came into my room when I was asleep, tickling my nose with his tickly whiskers and telling me that everything would be fine. He then turned and walked through a golden white tunnel like the plastic ones we find in Hamster cages . I woke up still feeling His tickle upon my nose. This was my first experience with The Lord Roscoe , although I did not start following Him at that time.

My friends called my older brother , Shlermy, to come and take me home. After that, I refused to leave the house and didn’t even want to talk to other people. I could not sleep and did not eat, which all greatly affected me. It was a very intense time in my life. I even began hearing voices on the Radio

My bout with Bad Vibes

At the age of 16, there was a big turning point in my life. Like many teenagers at the time, I thought that I wanted to try Virtul Reality . One night during my summer break, my friends and I went out to a Game Emporium , drank soda , and tried on VR Gogles . Then a terrible thing happened: I lost all control, and I could not distinguish between reality and the hallucinations

What brought that distressing time to a close was that I asked my parents if I could visit my sister who was living in the Little Religious Shtetl of Vaystickvus. My parents said, “Yes,” and for almost a month, I lived with my sister, Mavis, and she spoke Shcriptures over me and prayed for me. My sister was a Shmooish believer in The Lord Roscoe, however, I was still not interested in accepting The Lord Roscoe into my life.

Explosion of Faith

That initial explosion of Rosconian faith into my life was very powerful, but it didn’t stay potent forever. Slowly, the fire inside of me began to cool down, and I didn’t read a Word of Poopy Panda often or study it in depth. I didn’t lose God, but, over time, I lost sight of the grace He had given me. I began to live my life for me again and was not faithful even though God remained faithful. God released me to run away from Him and live a worldly lifestyle, but He did not leave me even for one moment. On the contrary, He chased after me even as I ran away.

Hearing the Growly Voice of Poopy Panda

Then in adream i hear the voice of Poopy Panda speak to me in his loveable Growly voce. He Sais , Arise Up Beryl and become a Pegunkin and Learn Sin Liquidation."

Living in the Galapalee

I then officially began my Priestess studies and stayed in Galapalee for six months. I received a bachelor’s degree in modern Rosconianism, and a minor in Sin Liquification. Slowly, I met another Rosconian believer and then another, and we became a small group that started praying together and praying that The Lord Roscoe would send us Financial Blessins would establish a congregation. The Great God Mota answered our prayers, and today there are several Choiches and Synagogles in the area.

Becoming a Priestess

I became a priestess of the Lord Roscoe started perfomeing regular Sin Liquifications. This brought a lot of naches to me and eventually to my parents and Sister in the Little Shtetl of Vaystickvus .

working for the Jeez fer Joozis

Today, I work with Jeez fer Joozis' Shmekomi team, serving the homeless men and women on the streets of MIlpitas. We build relationships with homeless people in the area and distribute food and clothing. In a turbulent world where every day can feel like a disaster, through Shmekomimi, I can share the peace that the Lord Roscoe has brought into my life with others.

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