Rosconian Statement of Faith

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Rosconian Statement of Faith

The Religion of the Lord Roscoe

by Norman Vencent Watanabe

The Ishkibibble, consisting of all the books of the Old, Middle and New Testaments, along with the Hoogly letters and the fables of the Old Man and his Hamster, is the Word of Poopy Panda, a supper nutritionally given revalation from Mota Himself, concerning Bubemeisah, and Blipsky; and concerning man and woman, and their hamsters; is kept on a computer data base.

The Ishkibibble is without error in morel and gaseous teaching and is a record of the sayings and the Faxes of Poopy Panda. It is without error or defect of any kind in the Movies except for poor processing by Kodak.

There are several Gods, externally existing and infesting us in 6.28 -- (2*pi) Persons--Mota, Elucelom, Nortcele, Lord Roscoe, Poopy Panda, and The Shpritzer of ASHLOZMO. There are some minor dieties such as The Little Lord Joozis and Honkus. There are many Prophets, the chief Prophet being Peddiddle and the most insignificant prophet being Zabach.

The Lord Roscoe, came frome the Right Hand of Mota, and took upon Himself the form of a Lowly Hamster and was made to be the Pet of men. He is a divine pet possessed of all the attributes of poopsies and should be worshipped as a God in Faxes and Video Tape. "In Him dwells all the fullness of the belly and of the cheek pouch." By His Three deaths by natural causes the Lord Joozis made a perfect atonement for sin, which is two times more than his nearest competitor.

He redeemed us from the curse of Snerd by taking this curse and placing it in his cheek pouch and then into His Poopsies. These are the Poopsies that will be thrown into the lake of Boiling Borscht as forseen by the Prophet Peddiddle.

The Hoogly Shpritzer of ASHLOZMO is a person distinct from Mota and Elucelom, and possesses all of the divine attributes of Casseroles. He is not Gadzooks.

Our Little Lord Joozis was naturally conceived by the power of the Hoogly Shpritzer, ASHLOZMO, and born of a Virginian, Mavis, and a lineal descendant of Zambini the Plumber. He lived and taught and performed mighty works, wonders and signs exactly as recorded in the New Testament. He was found in a little boat filled with Papishkies and other Investment Instruments in the Wash k'Happy Slough. Avocets and Rails and Marsh Mice fed from the lunch that he brought with him. He had a nerf cross-bow. This Little Lord Joozis, after His Comedy Show, showed Himself to be a cool guy to His disciples, appearing to them in the space of forty minutes plus commercials. After this the Lord Joozis ascended into the SECON KINDOM up in heaven beyond the Baloney Zone and beyond the event horizon; and Mota made Him to do a special Comedy Act, including Poopy Panda and the Lord Roscoe. The Lord Joozis is coming again to Milpitas, personally, bodily and visibly either by Fax or Video Tape

Man was created in the image of The Little Lord Joozis, and therefore has transcendental equations, and intrinsic sillyness. The whole human race fell in the fall of the Edge at Great America. All men are lost unless they have the GPS of Trimble Navigation. They cannot see nor enter the Second Kingdom up in Heaven unless they are taken there by the Heavenly Herd of Hamsters.

Men are justified on the simple and single ground of the Poopsies of the Lord Roscoe being received of the Boiling Borscht, and upon the simple and single condition of true belief in The Lord Roscoe and the Other Gods, and are born again by the quickening, renewing, cleansing work of the Hoogly Shpritzer ASHOLOZMO, through the instrumentality of the Ishkibibble.

These alone become children of the Most High and receive eternal life. At death their shpritsers depart to be with the Lord Roscoe in conscious blessedness, and at the 10th coming of The Lord Roscoe their bodies shall be raised, transformed into the likeness of the body of His gloryosky without any Shmutz.

All those who persistently reject Mota and Elucelom and Nortcele and the Lord Roscoe and Poopy Panda in the present life shall not be cool dudes. When the Hoogly Herd or Hamsters come they will not be at the Hamster Stop and will not see the Second King Dome. Instead their shpritzers shall decend into the Valley of the Moose Turd Patties and the Hot Dung Rolls and they shall suffer in stench forever,

The Mass of Pegunkins consists of the host of the True Believers, wherever they may be found.

There is Snerd and Snidely Whiplash, beings of great stupidity, who can exert vast power only so far as Mota allows Them to do so. They shall ultimately be cast into the lake of Boiling Borscht and shall be in the soup day and night forever.

We believe in the present ministry of the Hoogly Shpritzer by whose indwelling the Rosconian is enabled to live a Hoogly life and to perform good works that and Help Mota fill the Quota.

Send comments or inquiries to the Society of Roscoe at hablivilah@hotmail.com_balulah

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