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Then I Met Mishugina

by Rose Pipick

It was Roscoe's Birthday, 1996. As I reached for a drinking glass in the shelf-lined pantry of our luxury condo, I glanced out of the big skylight window at the midnight sky. The light of one star in the southwest dazzled me with its brilliance. It beamed bigger and brighter than any star I had ever seen, and I thought, "Maybe Comet Shoemaker-Levy over Jupiter looked like that." Then I realized that 60 million years ago The great God Mota was unhappy with those big bad Dinosaurs and threw a comet at them, just like Shoemaker-Levy.

My life has certain parallels with the life of our Little Lord Joozis. Instead of being born to a Virginian and a Plumber, my mother was the Famous Mary Madgalene Hablivilash, from an Old Pegunkin Family. My mother had be the first to convert to the religion of the Lord Roscoe in our neighborhood when the famous and Hoogly prophets Mishigas and Mishugina came to town to preach the Gungle in 1965. Later in 1966 my mother met my father , the famous and esteamed Moishe Pipick, lately escaped from Transylvania. Despite his heavy Transylvanian accent he was handsome and debonair, and very mysterious. He was at first reluctant to abandon his birth religion ,Agnosticism, for the new revalation of Peddidle, but as he attended the Roscoe-Mess every Wednesday Morning at 1 o'clock, he grew to love the simple but Hoogly services.

I was born in 1970 after my father had joined the staff of George Mishugina University as assistant Professor in Comparative Hamsterology. There he studied the Hoogly Ishkibibble and reseached the archiological evidence of the first, second and third comings of the Lord Roscoe. My mother was the chief editor of the Journal of Rosconian Litter and Jeez fer Joozis Journal. You may have seen her picture in several tracts put out by the Society of Roscoe!

I was a very precocious child, being able to read the Hoogly Iskibibble at the age of 3. By the time I was 10 I was an Itinerant Preacher in training at the Roscoe Academy. I went to many Chapels and Temples and gave rousing and spirited interpretations of the Jokes of the Little Lord Joozis, especially the S-car-go and Foo-shits-wear-it jokes. This was very strange as the Little Lord Joozis hadn't undergone his famous journey yet! Little was I to know that I had arroused the curiosity of the Prophet Mishugina Himself.

Now the Prophet Mishugina had disguised himself as a goverment employee and was secretly keeping tabs on the FBI. He knew that the First Church of Rosconianism had to be protected from the Bad People and other DONT BLEEVERS and the chief DONT BLEEVER was J Edgar Hoover. Now many folks out there have thought that our former FBI chief was moonlighting as a Vacuum cleaner salesman. The prophet Mishugina was also of this opinion, but was soon to be disabused of this notion. He made the startling discovery that the FBI chief was tracking the whereabouts of the parents of the Little Lord Joozis! Now the Little Lord Joozis had been already born in the little shtetl of Milpitas, but that was a secret to all except the prophets of Mota.

Now to fulfill the prophesies in the Iskibibble, Mishugina arranged to meet me in secret! I hardly noticed the middle aged man in the back row of the little tilt-up industrial building that the local chapter of the Society of Roscoe was using for their Hoogly Roscoe-Mess service, but after my last joke in which I liberally spread morels and other large fungi on a Hoogly Pizza Pie that was to shared by the congregation in the final part of the Mess, he came up to me, resplendently dressed in his 37 purple ropes, and congratulated me on my performance. "Who are you?", I said, not knowing the true nature of this august personage that I was addressing. He answered with a question, "How would you like to become a Mahatma Grungly, in the perfection of the Ishkibibble?" Such a strange request! Now I knew that to be a Mahatma Grungly was a great honor. My own mother had been awarded this in a grand ceremony when I was 3 and I dimly rememberd the great celebration, complete with a grand procession of the young children with their Hamsters and Poopy Panda dolls. My mother says that almost one ton of Hoogly Poopsies were dropped in the boiling borscht that day!

The grandly attired man went up to my mother who instantly recognized him, as she had been among the very first converts to the True Faith, and gave him a big hug. "Why Mishugi darling, where have you been keeping yourself these days, and what about Mishigas - The old Mavin?" Needless to say I was was VERY embarassed and wished I could hide behing the curtains, I was still a very young child! "I have a special assignement for your precious Rose", said Mishugina, "and I want it kept very secret. I think she is just the person to handle this job."

That night I went with the prophet Mishugina on his personal Lear jet, paid for by all the Pegunkins, and landed on a small aiport in San Jose California. I had never been to California so I was very excited. A Black BMW driven by Jonathan of Logan picked us up and wisked us off to the Hotel Milpitas, by the salt pile. There we saw the foundation of the unfinished Great Temple of Mota by the Wash ka Happy Slough. Now I had bee thuroughly trained and briefed for this mission. I got into my rubber raft and paddled out into the marsh. I waited till the Sun came up, hidden by a morning overcast.

Presently the Little Lord Joozis Himself came by as he was in the little boat. But he had forgotten his box lunch in the rush to escape into the Slough. While he took a mid morning nap, I snuck up to his boot and gently placed a great big box lunch with Soda into his craft. I hid in the reeds to watch.

Sudddenly a great noise rent the air and a parachute filled with Papiskies and Investment Instruments came down from the skies. It had bee dropped by the Prophet Mishugina from his Lear Jet! The Little Lord Joozis was so excited he dropped his lunch into the slough and inadvertantly fed the avocets and marsh mice so as to complete the prophesy of Mishigas.

Well the rest of the story you know well- If you have read the Ishkibibble. I still am amazed that the Prophet Mishugina gave me that important job to do to help complete the Gungle.

When I came home the following day, my mother was overjoyed to see me. "How is my little Mahatma Grungly doing", she exclaimed. Yes, I was awarded that honnor when I reached My 16th birthday when Pegunkins dedicate themselve to the Hoogly work of converting the DONT BLEEVERS to the true faith. I graduated from Chai Shchool and attended George Mishugina University where I received a degree in Hamsterology awarded by my father. I am now the chief editor of this web site for the Jeez fer Joozis. I see Joozis often and I think he going to propose to me. (I will be then Rose Joozis) If he knew how I preserved the Gungle, I am sure he would be tickled - he is so filled with rightious baloney!

And to think it all started when --I Met Mishugina!

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