To Stories of Rosconian Priestesses
To the Story of the Previous Priestess
To the Story of the Next Priestess
To Home Page
To Stories of Rosconian Priestesses
To the Story of the Previous Priestess
To the Story of the Next Priestess
By Alla Balla Bunkbasher
 Alla in front of the Great Temple of Mota |
Well, first & foremost, my faith in God & relationship with the Lord is the most important thing to me.
My Duties are a Priestess of the Lord Roscoe keep me centered on the True Truth of the True Tooth
It is through His awesome love & snoogles that I have become the woman that I am today. My faith is perfectly compatible with sexual relations,
|
 My Family's modest house in Milpitas |
I was Born and raised in the little Shtetl of Mipitas , I had been a Catholic Christian all my life and took Catechism class where I learned about white lies, black lies, and blue lies and virgin birth and jesus flying around . My father & mother Bob and Betty Bunkbasher raised me in church, But I HAD seen the Little Lord Joozis and his miracles of Auto Body Painting and felt drawn to his silly Jokes depite his being harassed by the Hurly Banchmen who somehow were induced to cary Morels while standing at the back of the crowd who wer givign Joozis a standing ovulation .
After the Apinting was over Joozis came over to me and said, " You are very pretty [ which I was very well aware of] . Is there a possibility you have Shmooish background? ". This last part was a surprise to me, as my parent nevers talked to me about our being of Shmooish inheritance. That night I confronted them with that possibility, and my Father said, " Yes we are of Shmooish background, but wanted to hide it because in the Old country we were threated by the Putzis. " So all these years they had hidden their Shmooish identity because of fears of persecution in another country . |
 In the Little Shtetl of Vaystickvus |
Soon after this I decided to travel to Slobovnia to uncover my Shmooish roots . I visited my Hoogly Sites in that small beleagered country including the shrine of Our Lady of Medigungle awhich has the revered statue of Gracy Slick with amy accolytes offering prayers and tales of miraculous cures of tone deafness and uncoolness. Finally I visited the home of my ancestors, the Little Shtetl of Vaystickvus , celebrated by tales of Yore, and More . I was shocked to find that it was run down with the people dirt poor , Subsisting on sales of their magic Borscht, and using old Ford Model As and even Ox Carts for transportation. Suddenly I noticed large crowds assembling in the town square. There was a new young precher from New Jersy there spouting out revolutionay Mishigos ! |
 Young Moishe Hablivilah |
Amongst the gathering crowd, I saw ca young tall dark and handsome young man named Moishe Hablivilah preaching the Word of Poopy Panda . His eyes sparkled with wisdom and merth, and he was holding The Hoogly Ishkibbibble with the Lord Roscoe on it as well as a backpack filled with Hoogly Flyers and other Rosconian Religious artifacts.
He saw me and detected my fastination and immediately told me not to worry. If I could only Believe upong the Lord Roscoe as my Personal Savior God then I would in no Wise be Cast out ! His sincere zeal and silly demeanor impressed me and I immediately offered to sleep with him. But he said no, I am sealed to Prissy Hussy as my Intended. What you need to do is Study the Hoogly Flyers and read the Hoogly Ishkibbbible and attend a High Hoogly Mess and become a Hooly Chaste [ with some exceptions] Priestess of the Lord Roscoe ! |
 Fire and brimstone preacher |
I then discovered that The Little Shtetl of Vaystickvus had a preparatory school for Rosconian Priestesses. After meeting both the Little Lord Joozis and Hald Pastor Moise Hablivilah, I had felt a calling to participate in Shmooish Culture and the religion of the Lord Roscoe
So I enrolled in this Sattellite campus of Roscoe Theogogical College and learned how to prepare the Boiling Borscht and do the Boiling Borscht Ceremony for the liquidation of Sins. After graduation I serve as an Itinerant Priestess on call, Passing out Rosconian flyers to passers by , and being a helper and guide at the shrine of our Hoogly Mother of Medigungle. I then received a permanent position in of all places, Milpitas California! |
 Fire and brimstone preacher |
I now found mysself at Saint Shlemiel's Chapel of the Valley, a little Shtebl supported by freewill ofering and cellphone towers , I found the services inspiring and funny. Sometimes I had to hold my fingers over my mouth to prevent me from laughing out loud.
Using my new found skills as Hoogly Priestess of the Lord Roscoe, I Liquidated my Sins and helped people find belief in the True Truth of the True Tooth , as well as spreading the Righteous Bubemeisah. My Parent Betty and Bod returned to their Shmooish Heritage and I discovered relatives that I never knew before. Praise Roscoe! |
|
Alla is now serving the Little Lord Joozis and Roscoe as a Hoogly Priestess who is Chaste [ most of the time ] , She is Liquidating Sins through the Boiling Borscht Ceremoney held during services. |
To the Story of the Next Witness