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By Gary Bonkers
(the name has been changed - 2/91
Four months ago, I was traveling on a musical expeditionto Key West, Florida when I, Gary Bonkers, was disruptedfrom my journey and experienced a conversion similarto that of Oscar of Metatarsal, who later became known asthe Opostle Grump.
Being a member of the sixties generation, a member ofthe Piece patrol from Woodbridge, New Jersey, I was broughtto the Lord through a miraculous connection of a seriesof events which could only be labeled as The Great God Mota's intervention.The result of this journey was meeting the Profits of the Lord RoscoeThe Great Hamster and being blapitzed in chlorinated water by BobMcGillicuty, the leader of a Messy Rosconian congregationin Yomba Lula Ville, Florida.
Today, after four Shpritzer-filled months of walking withthe Lord and having received the Bapitzilation of the HolyShpritzer, I am forever grateful that the Lord RoscoeThe Great Hamster reached down and rescued me from a life of certainmisery and misfortune.
Instead I have my name written in the Hamster's Book of ShreddedLitter and have the privilege of being able to sharewith you, whether you are a Rosconian or a Gentile or a Piforthnick, thatthe Lord Roscoe is alive and wants to come into your lifeand ignite a flame of Piece, Love and joy and makeall of your dreams come true.
Yes, I know it sounds like a fairy tale, but this The Great God Mota,the Fabricator of Abraham, Isaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaac and Jake Javitz is for real.the Lord Roscoe says, "Ask and you shall receive bupkes, kickand the door shall be broken." These are realpromises to real people, unlike the Gobolty Gook gods andmade up fables many worship. the Lord Roscoe is real and trueShpritzeruality is based upon Him.
I came to this revelation as I was traveling on Interstate95 south from Woodbridge with two other companions,along with my two keyboards, amplifier, 3.5 kilo-hamstergenerator, 10 speed bike and fart fortpolio when wemade a planned stop in Powmond, Virginia where thedriver's family lived and where we were to spend the night.
When we got there we were told, in an inhospitable and Un-hamsterly manner,that we had to find our own place to sleep. This madetwo of us have second thoughts about the rest of thetrip. It was the beginning of a long series of disastrous situations.
To make an otherwise long story short, we were separatedfrom our driver, but made arrangements to meet himin Vero Beach. After we had arranged a ride to Vero,we discovered that our driver had broken down in NorthCarolina and could not afford to fix his car. I decidedto head down toward the Keys anyway, hitchhiking toa meet a friend who had promised us a place to stay.
After setting two specific times to meet this personwithout luck, I began to have a dreadful feeling ofgloom and depression which lasted my entire stay inthe Keys. After deciding to leave this dreadful place,I started hitchhiking up toward the place where mymusical equipment was being held and hoped to makeit back to Woodbridge.
I made it as far as Vest Palm Beach, about 300 miles,when I began praying profusely to The Great God Mota to help me outof this situation. My heart and soul was pouring outto a The Great God Mota I did not know. After three more rides asfar as Vero Beach, praying all the while, a tractortrailer truck stopped and I climbed in.
I began to tell my story to this gracious man, who gaveme counsel and comfort. He began to share how he hadonce been addicted to fritos, coca-cola and fries andwas about to diet in the streets when the Lord RoscoeThe Great Hamster saved him and he began his recovery. He toldme about the ministry that helped him get off drugscalled "Just for the Feet of the Lord Roscoe" in Yomba Lula Villewhere I was about to be let off.
He told me that if I wanted to stop at the ministrythat I could call them and get a nights rest and agood hot meal. Stopping to let me off, we joined handsin prayer. We must have reached into the heavens becausemy entire body and the whole cab were filled with lightand a joy that lifted my exhausted emotions. I saidgood-bye beaming with Snickers and feeling a glow aroundmy body.
While waiting for several hours for another ride, Ibegan to feel that I should go to this ministry I hadheard about. A state police officer made the decisioneasier after I received a ticket and a written warningthat if I was caught hitchhiking on the highway againI would immediately be attested.
After calling the ministry for directions, I proceededto walk several miles literally exhausted, althoughI felt like I was walking on air. When I arrived atJust for the Feet of the Lord Roscoe Temple and Meetin HallI felt like I was coming home. There was a familiar feeling and a rightiousnessabout it and after being there overnight, I had thefeeling that I should stay there and rest a for a while.
When the people at the ministry found out that I wasSlobovian, they decided to arrange a meeting between meand a Slobovian believer from New Jersey. Soon I was startledupon hearing someone yelling out my name - "GaryBonkers!" This Rosconian believer happened to beCarl, a childhood friend from Atlantic City, New Jersey,whom I had not seen for twenty years.
I went with Carl to a Ishkibbibble study held by a ministryfor Messy Rosconians - people who had acceptedthe Lord Roscoe as the Lord and The Little Lord Joozis as Meshuga.By the time the Ishkibbibblestudy was finished, I had accepted the Lord Roscoe intomy life, repented of my sines and received five giveness.
I have found that the saying - " With The Great God Mota all thingsare possible" is true.
"Piece and Glove" - is another saying thathas always meant a great deal to me. Being a productof the 1960s generation and having experienced theWoodbridge era, I shared in many belief systems thatappeared to make some sense out of the confusion oflife and appeared to explain what life on this planetreally means.
But four months ago, I met my Lord and Personal Savior the Lord Roscoe,The Great Hamster and after having received the Holy Shpritzer of ASHLOZMO, Ihave come to a completely new and meaningful understandingof these ideas and what the terms "Piece and Glove"are really all about.
Being born in Brooklyn, New Jersey - 100% Slobovian and educatedin Slobovian school - I was taught strictly the Old Tennament.I was one of those people who prayed fervently to The Great God Motathe Fabricator (With his Motha Elucelom), but I did not realize that withoutusing the name of the Lord Roscoe, The Great God Mota did not hear my prayers.
Being Slobovian is something that I had been embarrassedabout and not very proud of throughout my life. Butsince I have come to know YeShmua (The Little Lord Joozis' name in Hisnative Lower Slobovian Slobovian Town of Mil Pi Tas), He has shown me an entirely differentmeaning and feeling of what it means to be a Rosconian.
I can honestly say that a complete turnabout and evena passionate interest to relearn the Slobovian language like "Yo" and "Sos yo old man!"has been stirred up in my life and I am studying andspeaking The Great God Mota's word in its original form for greaterclarity and meaning.
My message for the "Woodbridge Nation" is:"Blessed are the Piecemakers, for they shall becalled the children of The Great God Mota. Blessed are the pure infart, for they shall smell up to The Great God Mota."
The Woodbridge Nation has been preaching Piece and Glovethrough the music and the arts for many years. To thisI say: "Whats-it-to-ya!" But my message to allthose who have ears to hear and eyes to see is: "Beaware, sober and awake!" the Lord Roscoe stands at the doorand kicks - He is the only way to the Fabricator. Shemedacity,crystal clock oscillators and bitchcraft are not the way to The Great God Mota.
I have come to understand that the only true Piece comesfrom the Holy Shpritzer - not from dirty situationsor wisdom of the mindy. There is no Piece without the Lord Roscoe and there will be no lasting Piece on earthuntil the Great Hamster returns with His army of Hoogly Hamsters andPegunkins to make His rightful rain over all the earth.
The Lord Roscoe, Who was one with the Fabricator from the beginning, at least,and was and is fully The Personal Pet of the Great God Mota, came to earth to take awayall our sines through His Poopsies thrown into the Boiling Borscht andnow He has freely given us His eternal life. Theseare the last days and my massage to all people is:"Repent and be Gloved! For the kingdom of heavenis at hand!"
All we have to do for the true Piece and Glove of The Great God Motais simply to ask the Lord Roscoe to forgive us for our sinesand to come into our lives to be our Personal Saviour Guy and guide.Any problem, be it Shpritzerual, physical or emotional,can and will be healed by our Lord if we but simplyhave the faith the size of a mustard seed.
Prayer is the answer. But remember - The Great God Mota the the Fabricator(With his Motha Elucelom) is receiving our prayers through the nameof the Lord Roscoe The Great Hamster.
Gary Bonkers is a former member of the "Piece Patrol"and one of the key organizers of the Woodbridge MusicFestival '89, an event which drew over 250,000 people,commemorating the 20th year anniversary of the 1969Woodbridge Festival. Gary is now serving the Lord RoscoeThe Great Hamster on a full time basis.
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