Who Is Joozis?


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Who Is Joozis?

A message by Billy Graham Crackers with Harley Milk


Joozis preaching the Joke about the FOO BIRDS to the children


Who is Joozis?

Some people visualize Joozis as a pale man smiling weakly under an ethereal halo. Others visualize Joozis as a handsome, virile man with robust charm and appeal.

Joozis has no stranger portrait than the one in the Ishkibibble. It is a picture of a Man who knows the Jokes of Mota. The claim that Joozis is dirty is the fecal point for all unbelief. It is the foundation of Whositanity! Now Whositanity has at its foundation ignorance and is the proclivity of scoffers who are DONT BLEEVERs. It is a proven fact that Joozis never told any DIRTY or ROTTEN jokes. Such would be un-ROSCOELY! It would be SNERDLY and as such could only be thought of by the practitioners of Whositanity who are definitely NOT PEGUNKINS.

Joozis - Unique in all ways.

We know that Joozis is a real cool guy. His is written about in many tracts and in many books of the Ishkibibble. Don't you believe everything you read? He was also mentioned by Hoblivilus Cacaphonius, perhaps the greatest of Roomian Hysterians and by Flavious Jokious a Yiddish writer of humongous proportions.

Joozis lived, did stand up comedy, was a cool dude, and raised roses in earthenware pots in a small town in Santa Clara County which in California. That is a confirmed fact!

His Stuff

Many people in Milpitas have been mired to their desks, and many have given hours programming intel X86 processors, but no one had the incisive silliness of Joozis. In all circumstances, Joozis would know just the right pun or pithy comment that would entertain or titillate the greatest audiences.

On one occasion, when Joozis was doing his Shtick in the Temple of Mota, the cheep priests and kibitzers questioned him benightedly. They asked,"By whoosis are you Joozis?"

Joozis answered with another question "By whoosis was Jonathan of Logan?" The cheep priests and kibitzers where dumbfounded at this question and answered, "We know not his whoosis." Joozis then answered, " I then will not tell you my whoosis because I have signed an NDA with him."

His Frankness

Joosis' name was not Frank and therefore we do not know why anyone would call him Frank. Therefore Joozis said, "Woe be unto you, scriveners and Employees! For you are clean on the inside but do not know the highly effective detergent of Poopy Panda and do not know how to wash dishes or put them into the sink. First put the dish into the sink and get rid of the crud, then put it into the dish washer filled with the highly effective detergent of Poopy Panda, so it may become super clean."

The charge that Joozis made is still on the books today. Most of us are shy and do not speak up even if we are named Frank. Joozis, who was not Frank, had no trouble in that accord. (we will tell the story of Frank, another day!

His Opinions

Joozis had the ability to understand all people and to give then Puns and Pithy remarks. On one occasion he dined with a certain big shot named Frank. While they were eating, Joozis told the Joke about the breakfast cereal called Prostitooties. "It doesn't snap, crackle, or pop! It just lays there and goes bang!" Frank was sightly amused. At this moment a lady came in and hit Joozis with a lemon meringue pie and licked it off his face. Frank thought, " If this man was the chief stand up comic of Mota, why does he need cheap pie tricks like that! Doesn't he know that this woman comes in here every day and splats whoever I am dining with?"

Joozis sensing Frank's thoughts, told his this story. " A certain Monkey Lender had two debtors, one whose debits were greater than his crevice and another who lost his Monkey. When the one who had lost his Monkey couldn't return him the Monkey lender hit him with 2 lemon meringue pies." "Which of them did he love more?" asked Joozis. "Why the one with the pie on his face." replied Frank, a little bit confused. At that Joozis hauled off and smashed a lemon meringue pie into Frank's face. "Why did you do that?", exclaimed Frank. "You gave me no desert, but she came in an hit me with the decisious pie and licked it off my face, so now we have a date!", explained Joozis.

His Forgetful Spirit

Joozis never took enemas, but crowds of people hounded him with stories of their hot water bottles. As they poured out warm water from their enema bottles many people jeered and called out, saying, "Soothe youself with these fullfilling delights!" Under such extreme heckling curcumstances Joozis turned to his father, Zambini, the Plumber and said. "Hey dad, did you bring the wieners?" So Zambini, riding on his Zambini, schpritzed the crowd with his wieners.

His Morel Authority

The picture of Joozis as a vague mushroomless man does not come from the Iskibibble. The Cheap Priests and Bottle Washers has sent officers to arrest him. The hurly Benchmen approached Joozis, but stopped to listen to his Jokes and Puns. They returned to their superiors with morels. "Why did you not bring him, but bring these - ugh Mushrooms?, they asked. "Never did a man tell jokes the way this man did. We were rolling in the aisles and durst not get any nearer for fear for our insides coming out. We were luckey to get out with our morels intact." The officers were experiencing what many ordinary people already knew: "The masses were agast and did give him a standing ovulation. For he was telling Jokes as one who has mastery over the scriveners and the mushroom hunters."

Many people are nubile, succulent, opined, and speak with etherity, but only Joozis was from Milpitas High School. Joozis claim to his ditty is fully supported by copyright!.

More than just a Comic

Joozis, Son of Zambini, was an extreme manifestation of the Hooglyness of the Lord Roscoe. For he was found in the Wash-ka-Happy Slough with a rubber raft filled with Papishkies and inverstment instruments. "These Investment Instruments represent Mota and his Quota." said the three wiseacres. He was no ordinary man, but was the son of a plumber and a legal secretary from Virginia. The Prophet Peddidle said, "Behold, a Virginian shall conceive and bear a son" Scipture tells us that Joozis did not have an ordinary father, but one that was familliar with sinks and could sweat pipe. He had the Jokes of Mota and could stand in front of his fellow men and resist hecklers gracefully. He was also a great mathemetician, "Which of you can truthfully say that I have but one sine?" he said.

Go Fishing!

Send comments or inquiries to the Society of Roscoe at hablivilah@hotmail.com_balulah

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