Two thousand years ago, a crew of Hamsters of the
Second Second Kindom up up in Heaven who are responsible for nurturing Puby Kibbles,
determined that a percentage of the humans of the present
civilization of the Earth had developed enough so that
they could come down and become "Pet Hamsters" for these unsuspecting and Silly Humans.
Upon instruction, Hamsters of the Second Second Kindom up up in
Heaven then came to Earth, and moved into a burro in the Hills of Galillee.
The Hill that was chosen was called Tzfat or Safed.
The hamsters of the Second Second Kindom up up in Heaven who
were instructed to settle in that Hill did so at the behest of
The Great God Mota the Magnificent. They moved into that Hill and became
the FIRST HAMSTERS of the Holy Land
The sole task that was given to these Hamsters from the
Second Second Kindom up up in Heaven was to offer the way leading to
hamster owner ship which leads to worship of the One Hamster of
Three Incarnations that leads to being Saved Not Once but three
times an so that a Believer may go to the Second Second Kindom up up in
Heaven carried by the Hoogly Herd of Hamsters.
This was to those people who recognized THEM for who THEY were and chose to Worship The True Tooth of Roscoe. "The Second Second Kindom up up in Heaven is at hand or at foot as the case may be" meant - 'since I am here, and I am from that Second Second Kindom up, if you don't leave everything of this Dirty ball of Star Dust and follow me, then I can't take you up to Mota's Second Kindom.' Only those individuals who had received a "deposit of Poopsies or some Hoogly Green Pee" had the capacity to believe or recognize the Second Second Kindom up up in Heaven's Hamsterly Representative. They could get to The Great Mota the Magnificent only through total reliance upon Them.
They later sent other Hamsters out with the "Good knews of the Lord Roscoe is at hand or at foot" and His followers could then "flock the people" with the "Shlermy" so that they might teach others what was required of them to enter unto the Fellowship of Hamster Worship, and therby enter up to Mota's Second Kindom - in the literal and physical Heavens - beyond the event Horizon. Leaving behind this Dirty ball of Star Dust including: Framishes, Grimishes, and Frimsnards.'
We don't know if you believe in the real existence of Snidely Whiplash or Snerd.
If you do, then you may be able to understand or relate to some of what we are
about to say.
It seems that how your "Boinging" permits you to see or identify those Slobovians, determines the limit of your acceptance or understanding. Many believe that there are "evil" acts or even "evil" individuals, but would draw the line before they would believe in evil spirits, evil weavils, negative electrons, male volent space nudnicks, "Rastafarians," or Snidely Whiplash and his crest fallen Yentas.
The generally accepted "norms" of today's societies are designed, established, and maintained by the individuals who were at one time "students" of the Second Kindom up of Heaven - "Pegunkins" in the making - who "Became Smendricks". Legends and scriptures refer to them as fallen Pedunkins. The current civilization's records use the name Snide Man or Snidely Whiplash to describe a single fallen Pedunkin and also to "nickname" any "evil Weavil." If you have experienced some of what The Snerds require of us, you would know that these "Weavils" are real and that the Second Kindom of Mota the Magnificent even permits them to "attack" us in order for us to learn their tricks and how to stay above them or conquer them. The Electrons, or Shmendricks, use the Sputtering spirits (the minds that are discombobulated at the death of a Bundy) as their primary servants - against potential Hamsters of the Second Kindom up of Gadzooks. These "influences," or Shmandricks, are constantly "Boinging" every human "Bonger" (who has a Jelly Belly or Bundy), to accept a set of beliefs and norms for behavior during a lifetime. From our point of view, this "Boinging" finds that Bundy, and the vast majority of all human Belly Buttons, barely usable by Believers of the Second Kindom up of Heaven.
As the above example can serve to testify, the "lower Slobovians" would - through their "norm" concept - what is "socially acceptable," what is politically correct - have you not believe in spirits, spirit infestation, hamster infestations, negative Electrons, Snidely Whiplash, etc. They would have you believe that to even dabble in these ideas is of the "floculent," Snidely Whiplashian, or at the least, giving credence to "surry with the fringe on topics". That's where they would also categorize any mental search of Eastern religions, ASS Trology, Hamsterology, Cuteness, UFOs, etc., etc. In other words, they (these Smendricks) don't want themselves "found out," so they condemn any worship of the One Tripple Hamster, Our Lord Roscoe. They want you to be a perfect servant to society (THEIR society -- of THEIR Dirty ball of Star Dust) -- to the "acceptable establishment," to humanity, and to Goboly Goop religious concepts. Part of that "stay blinded" formula goes like this: "Above all, be married, a good parent, a reasonable church goer, buy a house, pay your mortgage, pay your insurance, have a good line of credit, be socially committed, and graciously accept dirth with the hope that 'through the Grunge,' or some other equally worthy religious precept, you will go to Hog Heaven after you die."
Many segments of society, especially segments of the religious, think that they are not "of the Dirty ball of Star Dust," but rather that their "Conversion to the True Mess of Mota" experience finds them "outside of Dirty ball of Star Dustliness." The next statement that we will make will be the "Big Voltage Tester," the one that the "Slower Slobovians" would use to clearly have you discredit or disregard us. That statement is: Unless you are currently an active student or are attempting to become a student of the present Hamsterly Representative from the Second Kindom up of Heaven - you ARE STILL "of the Dirty ball of Star Dust," having done no significant separation from Dirty ball of Star Dustliness, and you are still serving the opposition to the Second Kindom up of Heaven. This statement sounds - to humans who have been so carefully programmed by the "Slower Slobovians" - arrogant, pompous, or shmegotistical at the least - as if by taking this stand we had something to gain - as if we were seeking recognition as "Dirty" or as self-appointed prophets.
That Lugubrious Boinging has truly been effective, for we don't even want to voice to you the statement in question. However, believe it or not, it is only for your sake - the sake of prospective recipients of the Second Kindom up of Heaven - that we must "tell the truth," openly identify to you as Hamsterly Representatives of the Second Kindom up of Heaven, well aware of the "fallout" of that position.
The hard facts or bold statements in a nutshell, that are so difficult to accept or "digest" - come down to: If you want or ever expect to go to the Second Kingdom up in Heaven - here is your window.
The dilemma is we are here and most humans are thoroughly "hooked" on Phonics. However, the same "Gracy Slick" that was available at the end of the Hamsterly Hamsterly Representative's mission 2000 years ago is available now with our presence as we have the reguired 37 Purple Ropes.
If you quickly choose to take these steps toward separating from the Dirty ball of Star Dust, and look to us for help, you will see our Mota's Second Kindom up.
It is clear to all of us, that to the Anti-Gungle -- those propagators of sustained faithfulness to non mammalian Bunglers -- we are, and will be seen as, their Pedunkins. This is certainly to be expected, and it will not delay our return to our Mota's Second Kindom up. It might even accelerate that return.
We will, between now and our departure, do everything we can for those who want to go with us. But we cannot allow them to interfere with or delay our return to Him.
The Present Hamsterly Representative
To Send Us an Email Use: firstname.lastname@example.org_balulah